I like the rain. I want to have a spring bookworming rain party full out with wellies—but not those Hunter Boots; absolutely not—, with yummy airy things like puffed pastries, meringues, mini fluffy cheese cakes, mousse dessert, macaroon, biscuits, crepe, and Earl Grey tea, definitely Earl Grey tea. and Tillandsia. We'd have lots of "air plants". Lots! And We'd read, but not anything structured. We'd bring books, trade books, read out-loud, pass books around between sentences and paragraphs. We'd leave with books we hadn't discovered.
I like books like I like my Jazz; euphoric, dangerous, occasionally a bit manic, sorrowful, bleak, raging, mood-incongruent, mournful, unforgivingly ragged, symbolic in a quiet way, warm apple pie for the soul. Give me a Plath style. Yōko Ogawa, M. Roach,
Criteria: Not rated on likability of characters. Not objective. I like Moxie Soda; chances are you don't.
time spent in that before bed reading slot:
5-until blurry eye 4-Later than I intended, but I still kept to my extended, extended reading time 3-I really should have been to bed an hour ago 2-customary 30 minutes. 1-book. side table. eyes closed.
How are common themes handled?
5-With an aesthetic that repurposes everyday themes into something fresh. Think of Hole Celebrity Skin covered by Cat Power 4-there is a comfortable air of familiarly.
3-Deja Vu 2. No deviation from its mates 1. Devastatingly trite, redundant, and stale.
Where would you keep it post-reading?
5-Next to my bed. 4-it's the center piece of my favorite bookshelf 3. On my other favorite bookshelf, but it's a bit dusty over their 2-Great cheap bookends 1-It never made it out of the box marked 'moving'.
5- Where is my teddy bear? Emotional-hangover 4- If I wasn't so emotionally stunted I'd cry. 3. Did James Cameron co-wrote this? Artfully contrived. 2- calculative emotional manipulation. This was literally written by James Cameron.1- I…feel…..nothing.
Mechanics (plot structure, voice, presentation, word choice, sentence structure, characters, writing style, pacing, and consistency):
5-Chanel 4-Prada 3-J-Crew 2-Gap 1-Old Navy
I long ago abandoned the notion of a life without storms, or a world without dry and killing seasons. Life is too complicated, too constantly changing, to be anything but what it is. And I am, by nature, too mercurial to be anything but deeply wary of the grave unnaturalness involved in any attempt to exert too much control over essentially uncontrollable forces. There will always be propelling, disturbing elements, and they will be there until, as Lowell put it, the watch is taken from the wrist. It is, at the end of the day, the individual moments of restlessness, of bleakness, of strong persuasions and maddened enthusiasms, that inform one's life, change the nature and direction of one's work, and give final meaning and color to one's loves and friendships.
As a brilliant psychiatrist—a resident, no less— once informed me 'It is sometimes easier for someone to understand you from an outside point-of-view.' . The experience of reading this book is inexplicably linked to the sentiment of this simple statement.
After reading this gem, which followed [book:Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See|13573378] I am emotionally drained, and mentally wounded. Coupled together, these two books coalesced into an objective and subjective orientation of depression and bipolar disorder—though, as the author stressed, the boundaries of each are terribly difficult to establish from a clinical standpoint—, as well as a awareness of, and closeness to the polar opposites of death, dread, anguish, apathy, and fatality with that of hope, strength and fortitude, and the cross section between them.
There is a kind of summitry—both cognitively as well as emotionally—in benefiting from this experience, as well disequilibrium stemming from my brain's inability to assimilate the complexity of what I learned. It will inevitably take time to digest this unevenness, as a new worldview loiters in my brain, waiting to be parceled into separate, but equally important pieces or consumed whole. I wait patiently for this to occur, and wonder at the same time, how this will inform future decisions, practices, actions and behaviors.
I thank Dr. Jamison immensely for everything written above, and for those things I can't quiet yet conceive, and those which I remain—and most likely will remain—unable to articulate. As she quite poignantly remarks, 'we each move within the restraints of our temperament and live up only partially to its possibilities". However, this memoir will undoubtedly aid in the journey, and create a space were the beast can be viewed—both objectively and subjectively—through subtle shades of beauty, clarity, and honesty. As Dr. Jamison points out, "treading water and, settling on surviving, and avoiding pain rather than being actively involved in and seeking out life" is the antithesis of healing. And while, at an early age [book:Alice in Wonderland|13023] taught us that we all have a tincture of madness, it is only in adapting to, rather than controlling, the beast that one can rein in its seductiveness, as well as minimize the devastation left in its wake. This is, however a most precarious place to reside. But, as the saying goes, "te saying goes, "qui semble à nous comme amer des épreuves est souvent des bénédictions dans le déguisement."